Romans 8:28 God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (Nedra's paraphrase) He truly is "El Roi" - the God who sees me. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13) His grace is sufficient for me. When I am weak, He is strong.
I've hinted around enough. Alas, it is time to tell the whole vacation story. Hopefully the previous posts are enough of a preface to say that we DID have a great vacation. God just added a little adventure...and let me say, but for the grace of God and my relationship with Jesus, I don't know how I would have made it through. Seriously.
While we were in Ohio, Ethan started to have some pain in his mouth. The pain was completely unpredictable, would come and go, and it was difficult to determine the source. We called our dentist at home; he mentioned the possibility of Ethan needing to be seen if the pain became unmanageable. For the most part, Motrin seemed to be doing the trick so we just gave him that as needed and moved forward with our plans.
On Friday, July 9, while in the van on the way to Washington DC, Ethan suddenly screamed out in pain and started crying. We were out of all of our children's pain medication and not near any town so Ethan was motivated to swallow a pill. This ended up being a blessing in disguise as up to this point, Ethan has been unwilling to even try to swallow pills. Let's just say he's now a PRO! Throughout the next few days, there were minor episodes of pain. We now realized the pain was connected to his front left tooth. This winter, Ethan had fallen and chipped his tooth. It had been repaired but was now the source of his pain. Another phone call to our dentist suggested the need for a root canal.
NOW...hold on a minute. Before going any further, let me explain something. You mothers will understand I'm sure. We are on a vacation we'd been planning for months. We are over 1,000 miles away from home in a city we are completely unfamiliar with. We are not planning to return home for another week. My son is in pain periodically, but so far OTC pain medication seems to be doing the trick. "Root canal" was not on our list of things to do (or budget for) while in DC. Call me crazy, but I'm doing all I can to just get Ethan through until we can get home (or at the very least back to Ohio where Ryan and Stephanie can help us find a dentist). So, while I would normally cringe at the idea of giving my son various doses of Tylenol, Motrin, and Aleve every 2-4 hours, this seemed like the best option at the time. Turns out waiting might have been the the wrong thing to do...
We celebrated Nedra's birthday in DC on Monday, July 12. After calling it a day, we were headed back to the hotel via subway (around 4pm) when Ethan again started having tooth pain. Thinking we'd been lax with the meds while out that day, we gave him some Aleve and waited for it to kick in. Fortunately, it got us through dinner out at a nice little Italian restaurant, but it soon became apparent that what we'd been doing just wasn't cuttin' it anymore. The thought in our minds was, "Just get us through tomorrow and then we'll go see someone on Wednesday when we're back in Ohio..." Ethan was in moderate to severe pain most of the evening and into the night. He was whimpering, moaning, crying, and sometimes screaming in pain. He got very little sleep, and started asking questions like, "Why is this happening to me?" On Tuesday morning, July 13, we made the decision to take him to see a dentist in DC. The poor kid was absolutely MISERABLE!
The plan for that last day in DC was to go on scheduled tours of the White House and Capitol and then drive back to Ohio (arriving just before midnight). We decided it would be best if Dana and the girls would just go forward with the tours as planned while I did the dentist stuff with Ethan. I googled "pediatric dentist alexandria virginia delta dental" in order to find a dentist near our hotel that would accept our insurance. By the grace of God, we were able to schedule an appointment for 9:30am. We ate breakfast, packed up the van (no minor event considering we'd now been on vacation for over a week), and checked out of the hotel. Dana and the girls took the Metro into DC and Ethan and I put the address of the dental office into the GPS (thank you Mom and Dad for loaning it to us) and headed out.
Again, a little aside here...during all of this and all I will continue to write, Ethan is still in a lot of pain. There is constant moaning, crying, etc. in the background while he struggles through his misery.
I am experiencing "mommy guilt" and questioning what we should have/could do differently. When I get stressed out, I have stomach and bathroom issues. When I indicate in the story that I'm in need of a bathroom, you'll know what I mean: I need a bathroom and I need it RIGHT NOW! It also happens to be that wonderful time of the month for me when many women struggle to maintain emotional stability. Excuse me if this is TMI, but it definitely was part of the experience that day, so I've decided to include it. During this lovely time of the month, I routinely have one very difficult, crampy, heavy day where I basically need to stick close to a bathroom all day - this is that day.
We have only one cell phone. Dana takes it with him. I have the laptop computer. The way we will communicate is that I will text the phone from the computer when I can get somewhere to find a wireless connection. Dana is touring the White House and can take NOTHING with him but cell phone and wallet.
The GPS we are borrowing from my parents is one that needs to be updated periodically for new road construction, etc. The area near our hotel has just undergone major construction and the GPS doesn't have the updates in it. We've learned how to figure out where it's telling us we need to go, but this often involves a few U-turns in the process. I am at the mercy of this GPS to get me around town.
(Oh my! My heart rate is accelerating just writing this...)
Okay, back to the story...Ethan and I leave the hotel on our way to the dentist. On the way, I need a bathroom and there are none. I don't make it in time. When I finally do see a bathroom, I grab some extra clothes, leave my moaning son in the vehicle, and head into a restaurant to get cleaned up. This is no small chore in a public bathroom. One word: gross!
We arrive at the address for the dentist and it's an apartment complex. There are no signs to indicate this is a dental office. I figure I'm at the wrong place until I see a sign on one of the apartment doors. I realize this is an apartment complex that has been renovated into various medical offices. There is no directory to indicate where the office is that we're looking for so we walk around looking at the doors to all of the apartments until we find the right one. By some miracle of God, we are only 15 minutes late and it's no problem. They've held our spot. This medical office evokes thoughts of dirty abortion clinics. Don't get me wrong; we received excellent care and all my questioning thoughts were for nothing, but the location, the size, and the condition of this office had me second-guessing my decision to come here. The dentist takes one look at Ethan and knows he needs a root canal. "I don't do root canals," he replies. "There is an endodontist that comes into our office to do them for us on (some day of the week that is not today), but he's not scheduled to come in today." After some pleading on my part, he agrees to call this endodontist to see if he'll come in and we have an appointment for a root canal scheduled for 2:45 that afternoon.
The dentist sends me on my way by 10:00am with a prescription for Tylenol with codeine to help ease Ethan's "discomfort". There's supposed to be a CVS pharmacy just around the corner, but I can't find it so I use the GPS to try to find a different one. The only place I can get it to give me directions to is a mall. I figure that the mall would be a decent place to kill time. There are usually other stores near a mall, so I can probably find a pharmacy, restaurants, bathrooms, and maybe even a theater where we can hole up for the afternoon and watch a movie. On my way to the mall, I spot a Starbucks that indicates "free wireless" for all patrons. I stop there intending to give Dana an update, but after 30 minutes and numerous people trying to help me, I can't get online. It's a mystery to everyone in the place as no one else is having a problem getting connected. Anyway, at least it made a good bathroom break. On to the mall...
There are no pharmacies that I can see within proximity to the Landmark Mall in Alexandria, Virginia. The mall reminds me of one you might find in the Twin Cities where there are actual exits off of the freeway that go just to the mall. It's huge, although the parking lot is almost empty. I consider this a wonderful thing until we get inside (to use the bathroom again) and realize why there are no cars in the lot - the mall is pretty much empty. There's a Macy's and Sears and that's about it. I realize this is not going to be the place to spend our afternoon so we head out still in search of a pharmacy and another bathroom. I remember that there is a Target near our hotel that had a pharmacy and our hotel has a wireless connection so I decide to head back there even though I have no clue how to get there now. I'm totally lost and still at the mercy of this GPS that kind of gives me directions to where I need to go. It's telling me to proceed to the nearest road, but every exit from the mall leads to a major freeway and I don't know which one I want. I'm always second-guessing the GPS, and am a bit distracted by my whimpering son and the GPS constantly telling me to "proceed to the nearest road" when I'm already on a road or telling me to make a u-turn while I'm on a busy freeway.
In the midst of my distraction, I become aware of a red light too late (although I must say, the light was in a weird spot) and in an effort to obey the light, I stop too late so I'm kind of sticking out into the intersection. I'm trying to decide whether to try to back up or just keep going when I hear the siren. As the policeman approaches the van, I lose it. I'm in tears when I roll down the window. "What's going on?" he asks. "I'm on vacation and totally lost. My son needs a root canal and I need to find a pharmacy. I didn't see the light-- " Policeman interrupts sarcastically, "You do have to stop at red lights in Minnesota, don't you?" I went silent right then and there knowing I was getting a ticket. I couldn't find my driver's license. It wasn't in my wallet as I'd had it in a smaller bag while we were touring DC so I didn't have to carry my purse around. The policeman wouldn't let me search for it while he was standing there so he took my information and headed back to his vehicle. I found my license while he was taking his time back there in his car. Ethan has now switched roles and is trying to comfort me in my distress. The policeman comes back with my "summons to appear in court" (why doesn't he just call it a traffic ticket?) and then tries to make nice by so graciously removing the charge for not being able to present my license (since I've now produced it) and giving me directions to a pharmacy. I'm now back on my way - it's noon.
I'm so glad to see the hotel parking lot I almost burst into tears again. I have no problem getting a wireless connection there. Dana happens to be having lunch so we're able to text back and forth a little bit. I can't relay the full drama as we're just texting and trying to make it short. The dentist is nowhere near the Metro (Dana's only means of transportation) so we plan on meeting back at the hotel again when Ethan's procedure is complete (maybe 4:30?). He and the girls will just hang out in the lobby until I get there.
Ethan and I arrive at the Target pharmacy. I hand over the prescription which seems almost pointless to fill at this point, but I hope to provide him some relief. I overhear a conversation between the pharmacist and his assistant, "Yeah, you'd better call the dentist to check it out..." I ask if there is a problem with the prescription. Apparently it is quite strange that they'd see a prescription on this side of town from a dental office that is not near here, so they question the validity of the prescription. I tearfully (I'm so embarrassed that I just can't stop the tears) explain the situation and then the pharmacist says they don't carry the dosage of the prescription indicated. He tries to direct me to another place, but I'm having none of that - it's here or nowhere. He ends up calling the dentist, and the prescription is adjusted. There's a slight problem with our out-of-state medical insurance (praise the Lord that I have the insurance cards along), but that is resolved and we're on our way. We grab lunch. The medication really has no effect on Ethan's pain and at this point he can't wait for the root canal! You know it's bad when you can't wait for a root canal.
As we drive back to the dental office, we encounter major traffic issues. It's not construction, but there's some kind of disturbance. Turns out there must have been some sort of power outage at the light I'm supposed to turn at. This has brought 6 lanes of traffic down to 1 and a half! I know where I need to turn, but it's mass chaos at this intersection. Eventually, I make it past the intersection and on to my destination despite many protests from the GPS and questions and complaints from Ethan in the back seat. I feel sorry for the kid, but I'm losing patience and compassion. Oh, I need a bathroom again too...
Finally back at the dental office - 2:45 on the nose. The office is closing for the day at 3:00. I talk with Dr. Finkelstein about the procedure. He doesn't want me in the back during the root canal. I send Ethan back with him, but I'm feeling very uncomfortable with this as I don't know this man at all. Remember how I already felt about this office? No one else is going to be in this apartment/office while he's doing this procedure. The other dentist, receptionist, nurses, etc. are all packed up and leaving for the day. My 12-year-old son is going to be in the back room sedated with a man I don't know (and who also has really bad breath ;o) While I'm in the bathroom (yet again) contemplating how I'm going to insist on being in the room for the root canal, I hear the receptionist answer the phone just before she leaves, and from what she's saying I can tell it's for me. Dana is thanking Jesus that I thought to have him put the dentist's phone number into the cell phone "just in case". If he would have called just a minute later, no one would have answered. How would he have gotten in touch with me to let me know what was going on? He reports that he accidentally threw his wallet away on his lunch tray at the Smithsonian. Basically, all of the garbage at the Smithsonian gets emptied into some underground garbage collection system so there was no finding it. He's left with only the cell phone. In the garbage: credit card, driver's license, Metro passes, and $80 cash. He now has no way to get back to the hotel to meet me, so I'm going to have to drive into DC to get him when Ethan is finished. Ethan will be done right around prime time for rush hour traffic. We arrange an approximate meeting time and place. Fortunately, all of the Smithsonian Museums are free and air-conditioned so he and the girls have no problem finding something to do.
Everyone is now gone from the office. I give up on trying to insist on being present for the root canal, but I do sneak back to peek in on the procedure every now and then. I read some Psalms and a bit of Isaiah while I wait. This calms my nerves. "Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out before You day and night. May my prayer reach Your presence; listen to my cry. For I have had enough troubles, and my life is near Sheol..." Psalm 88:1-3 - that's the Psalm God gave me in the midst of this. Yes, He truly is the God Who Sees Me. I answer the phone at the office a couple of times thinking it might be Dana. I leave with a groggy and exhausted, yet relieved, boy and a prescription for an antibiotic that needs to be filled immediately. The dentist also believes Ethan's blood sugar is low and I should get him some candy or something. This time, I actually find the CVS around the corner. Again, we have issues with our insurance, but once this is resolved, we go next door to a Starbucks to use the bathroom (yes all of that is still going on), try to update Dana, and to get Ethan a smoothie. Back to CVS to pick up the prescription.
Traffic is surprisingly mild traveling into DC, but I realize the place where we've arranged to meet is a road that is quite busy and I won't be able to stop. Just as I'm trying to decide what to do, a parking space opens up - if you've been to DC, you know this is a miracle - and I pull in. I put a quarter into the parking meter which gives me 6 minutes to find Dana and the girls and get back to the van. Ethan is in no shape to be running anywhere so I guiltily leave him in the van (it's like 95 degrees outside) and run to the Air and Space Museum entrance. I'm filled with relief when I spot my husband. We all rush back to the van and take off for Columbus, Ohio. Yes, we still have an 8-hour drive ahead of us...it's 5:30pm.
I find relief in telling Dana my story while we crawl out of DC. Ethan is now feeling a little bit better, and the girls are full of tales of their day. We stop in Frederick, Maryland to fill up with gas, get some more cash, and have a bite to eat. It's starting to sprinkle.
Three hours later, we are in the midst of a downpour. The fast wipers have been on constantly for the full 3 hours as we travel on the Pennsylvania Turnpike through the mountains. There are flood warnings out. For those of you who have never been on this road, let's just say it would be a challenging drive in the best of circumstances. 80% of the vehicles on this road are semis. We are constantly climbing or going downhill - you know how this goes with semis. The road is quite narrow for a freeway. It is dark. It is POURING rain. Our windshield is constantly pummeled with water when a we pass a semi or one passes us. Vehicles are hydroplaning. There are not really any exits along the way; there are emergency stopping lanes along the highway, but these are packed and seem more dangerous than just staying on the road. I mention the possibility of getting a hotel for the night, but we figure the children will soon fall asleep and we should just keep going. Besides, our budget is already blown to bits...Ethan is now running a fever - about 102.
At 1:00am, I'm sitting in the back with sobbing girls who can't sleep and Hannah is about ready to lose it. She's kicking and crying. Ethan is up front with Dana with the seat reclined trying to get some rest. The medication isn't doing anything for his fever and he can't sleep either. A quick call to Dr. Finkelstein is reassuring about the fever. He said it's certainly not cause for concern at this point, but nothing to ignore either. I'm to keep him updated. Again, Ethan's moaning, whimpering, and crying. Dana is doing everything he can to concentrate on the road. We pull up to Ryan and Stephanie's house at 2:30am and CRASH (sleep, not the vehicle)!
The next morning, Ethan still has a low fever and his face is puffy. At first we don't think anything of it. He did just have a root canal. Swelling should be expected, right? That afternoon, I make a few phone calls and realize this swelling is a complication and not something routine. Our dentist at home says to call the dentist in DC to get a different antibiotic. Dr. Finkelstein says to double up on the prescription we have, but we should see an oral surgeon! This seems a bit excessive, so I call our pediatrician at home (also a personal friend) and ask her advice. What a blessing! She prescribes something stronger and says we should see some results in 48 hours or Ethan should be seen. Again, issues with the out-of-state prescription and insurance thing, but I'm feeling like a pro at this point.
40 hours later, we are on our way home to Mankato. Ethan is feeling much better (almost back to normal), but there is still some swelling and he almost looks like he has a black eye. I realize the 48-hour mark will be around 10:00pm Friday night when we're due to arrive back in Mankato. I call the dentist at home to see if we should be going to the emergency room when we get home or if it can wait for Urgent Care on Saturday morning. She says, "You need to stop where you are right now and see an oral surgeon." I felt like I got kicked in the stomach. Throughout all of this, I'd never actually been worried, just stressed by the circumstances. Now, the Mommy-guilt kicked in full-force. The dentist made it clear that we shouldn't be alarmed, but that we also should not wait. The infection had spread to Ethan's face, and we needed to get it taken care of right away. There was something about it that put me in panic mode. So my wonderful husband is trying to talk me down. We had to switch drivers because I was in no condition to be driving. We're phone-calling back and forth: my mom, the dentist in Mankato, my sister, the oral surgeon in Peoria to tell us they are closing and we won't be able to get in there, the dentist from home again, the oral surgeon from Peoria directing us to another oral surgeon in Bloomington...we are turning around to drive back 30 miles to Bloomington, Illinois where we have an appointment there. Ethan is upset that he has to see another unfamiliar doctor because he "feels better" and this doctor will not be a "kid dentist". The girls are pumping out questions left and right. We're praying the GPS will lead us where we need to go.
This is where it all gets better folks - for real. This place and this doctor were absolutely wonderful. I'm not sure what I expected. I went in there feeling all apologetic that we interrupted their schedule and so grateful that they were willing to squeeze us in. I thought we'd feel like an intrusion or an annoyance, but that wasn't the case at all. I think God knew just what I needed at this point. Dana took care of entertaining the girls and dealing with Rudy (yes, he was along for all of this - not DC though). I stayed with Ethan. We were greeted by a doctor who was totally attentive to our needs. I finally felt like we had someone who was willing to take ownership over the whole thing. Dr. Capodice explained everything in a way that even put Ethan at ease. Ethan said, "I think he really is a kid dentist." This doctor wanted to hear the whole story. He responded with reassurance and compassion. He even knew about the Mommy-guilt without me having to say anything. He relieved that by saying even if we had come to him a couple of days ago with this issue, he would've done the same thing - prescribed the new antibiotic and waited 48 hours. He fully explained what had already been done, what the issue was now, and how he suggested we resolve it. Dr. Capodice would go in and clean out the infection in the root canal and insert a drain into Ethan's mouth that would allow the infection a way of escape. Ethan needed to be sedated for the procedure/surgery.
They bent over backwards for us at this place. Normally, we would have had to schedule this procedure for a different day; he did it right away. We were among his last patients for the day; it seemed like they were staying late for us. Every member of their staff treated us with courtesy, respect, kindness, and professionalism. We didn't have to find a pharmacy to fill any prescriptions. He gave us the mouthwash, salt water rinse (which they mixed for us right there from salt from their break room), extra gauze, IV antibiotics, and pain meds there. They explained everything every step of the way. The nurses entertained the girls in the recovery room. They gave us certificates for free ice cream at McDonald's. One of them even went out to the van to meet Rudy! Dr. Capodice said it would be possible to drive the rest of the way home if we needed to, but sounded a bit hesitant. After the drive we had following the root canal on Tuesday, we weren't willing to chance it for another 7-8 hours, so we called my mom to ask her to find us a hotel - one that would allow pets. We relaxed at the hotel that evening and were fresh for the drive on Saturday.
Ethan was pretty wobbly from having been sedated, but within a couple of hours, he was a whole new person. The swelling was starting to go down. The fever broke. He even got into trouble in the van on the way home the next day. Home never felt as good as it did that evening. We joined our church family for Worship in the Park on Sunday. I told bits and pieces of this story to many of you there; now you got the whole thing. The drain was removed by our dentist on Monday. What a relief it was to see him! Ethan took the last of his antibiotics last night and appears to be fully recovered. We do have some follow-up appointments coming up in August, but I think (hope) the worst of it is over. What an adventure...to say the least! This vacation will be the one we talk about for decades to come.
It's been therapeutic to type this all out today. I can finally lay it to rest. One thing I must say...throughout all of this, God is our Rock, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Our family stepped up and came through this unscathed. In spite of the stress, we were there for each other - offering words of encouragement, supporting and caring for each other, being strong when some of us were weak. And this is not of us.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. " (2Corinthians 4:7-9; 16-18)
